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Elaine Chan's blog.
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Friday, May 15, 2009 Rest then Run!

CG was good per usual. Car showroom was rad. The atmosphere was pretty much relaxed and I didn't fall asleep. I'm reminded once again that it's because of who God is, who I am in Him and then the fruits will come to er..fruition? Haha.

Then I was thinking about how Mington said if we know our position as un-condemned and saved, we won't hesitate to ask and when we ask, we will receive because "grace and peace is multiplied" into our lives. So Mafia, Berkeley and the entire school term: UNDESERVED but God's good so bo pian, He will give lor. I wonder about the verse that was given to me as I prayed about all these, Psalm 37:4

Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I remember asking and asking Him, are these the 'right' desires? When I read this verse, I realized that wasn't the question I should be asking. The rest comes first; delighting in Him. So question is: how to delight in God? REST. Time with God is rest. I haven't looked forward to it as much because I became preoccupied with other stuff. Tonight I'm reminded about this divine rest He can provide, but only if we want it. I WANT!

2 weeks ago, some of us had an interesting discussion about the F-word. If I remember rightly, Ng's position is that she doesn't personally use it but she thinks it's on par with other less stigmatized cuss words like "hell" and "damn". If one traces the evolution of these words, they were once taboos and girls who used them were perceived as badasses (another of those words). So Ng said maybe one day F-bombs wouldn't be so horrifying. More of a societal than a moral code thing. I'm inclined to agree with her. Like, sometimes typing WTF and FML are in jest; slipups and all...but if you lose sleep about it, there are a million other so-called greater sins to be torn down about.

I was once very rigid about it. Even though in my rage, I would let it rip then feel all so guilty about it. It's a different message - grace. So different that it's easy to slip into the old way of thinking and analyzing. It's radical and still music to the ears aight? And food for the soul. Water for the spirit.

I'm understanding that it's not so much about how different I am from my other friends. Y'know the whole centrist standing: not too much like my church friends and clicking with the pai kia types but not exactly being their mainstays. It bothered me for awhile because when social circles meet, I get all kinds of weird comments. Or sometimes, Sara says something jokingly and I get annoyed about how my friends dont get me. I'm begininning to not look at the differences that make me stick out like a sore thumb, but at my true position in life. The whole I-straddle-2-worlds-am-I-then-a-watered-down-Christian-bordering-on-hypocrisy fades. The thief attempts to steal the word planted in our hearts but who are we in our Redeemer's eyes? One of the most important questions to ever impact me. I'm still discovering and it's a great journey.