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Elaine Chan's blog.
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Let's hear it

Monday, November 23, 2009 Today is a really eventful day. I had my first paper, IT 1001. I also had an interesting train ride home, but more on that later.

Met Ethel in the morning to combine our cheat sheet and it was pretty damn excellent, if I may say so. Kept hi-fiving her throughout lunch. It was extremely useful for the exam. I was so pleased. There was a clincher though, I got back my Chavez paper and it was a real bummer. A semester of mediocrity, really. Don't know why.

So after my paper, I went to meet the pilots so that they could help me form good arguments to bump up my grade. W called meanwhile to tell me he managed to argue his way to a B+. Felt hope then my heart sunk again 'cos I'm not W who has some oddball underdog charm. The pilots were both deprecating and helpful at the same time. So I left a little confused and with smoke clinging to my hair and clothes. They chainsmoked while they were studying TCM. Seriously, ironic right? But anyway, I still felt anxious about meeting my prof sometime this week. To top it off, I had to go home & do some damage control about my PS 3236 study group. Honestly, all I could think of was FUBAR FUBAR.

So I took the walk through Pasir Panjang, which I usually do when I need to clear my head. I plugged into Pastor Prince when I caught the 30 and slowly, my spirit was lifted. The train ride home was slightly distracting, texts from friends including one super persistent friend; mixed race couple quarrelling; gay couple PDAing (yes, just your normal day on the NEL). But Pastor Prince's message sunk in. And it's just what I needed today, really. I close my eyes and I know, it's not by sight, but by faith. Mediocre grades, yes. Job on the line, fact. Truth: I can come boldly before the throne and ask my God who loves me unconditionally. Emotional burdens and uncertainties, yes. Truth: Whether I'm asleep or I'm awake, His favour surrounds me as a shield.

When I got home, I couldn't resist being aimless and surfing the Net and replying emails. But when I finally had my alone time, the message came back all over again and even fresher this time. It really helps, I find, to close your eyes & shut out the visible world.

By faith, and not by sight.