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Elaine Chan's blog.
Not entirely frivolous :)
And I'll try to be honest.




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Let's hear it

Friday, February 5, 2010 a good mystery

Something pretty enlightening happened today. I bumped into Yaupng's parents after studying with Char today. Char said they were giving the oh-shucks-we-lost-a-damn-capable-daughter-in-law vibes because they kept talking about how well I was doing in school (don't know where they heard from but probably YP la). Naturally, I felt triumphant and like a true baller - there's no better way to describe it. Swagger in the steps and all that. Because life has only gotten awesomer since 2008.

Tonight as I spent time in solitude, the cockiness faded. Remembering the cesspool that was my early uni life. I was a wreck by the end of 2008 and in early 2009. I couldn't eat without wanting to puke; couldn't wake up without the crapanotherdaytoface feeling. Lost on land; lost at sea. I felt like the titular character in A Dustland Fairytale: Cinderella don't you go to sleep. It's such a bitter form of refuge.

The grace of God touched me then.

And it's not just the cliched finding God again. It was a real and gripping experience. His grace is lavish to the point that it overflows. It's like a doctor who doesnt just fix you up medically after the scary diagnosis, but also freely splurges on you. Giving you the best post-operation treatment. That's who God is. A Father who enjoys blessing. I don't deserve any of it and I know I'm still living in that overflow by faith. So really, how can I credit any of that fast recovery to my own strength and determination? Rescued and restored :)